The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace by Fein Ellen & Schneider Sherrie

Author:Fein, Ellen & Schneider, Sherrie [Fein, Ellen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pocket Books
Published: 2002-07-29T00:00:00+00:00

E-mail intimacy is never the same as actually dating a man. Only on dates can you see how he behaves, what his moods are, what his character is like, and what his feelings for you seem to be. A man’s e-mails may be nice, but he may not be! So to think you can sleep with an online guy the first time you meet him just because you have been e-mailing each other for two months is insane and rushing things, to say the least.

First of all, we do not suggest you get into an ongoing e-mail “relationship” before you actually meet a man face-to-face. E-mail is only words on a screen. You don’t really know him; he may be lying about things; he could be involved with someone or just a player. Many romances have blossomed on the Internet and then poofed! in person because the man lied or there was no chemistry. You cannot tell if you have real chemistry with a man on the computer. As we stated in Rule 11, if a man does not suggest meeting after four e-mails (within two weeks to a month at the latest), it’s delete/next! If it’s a long-distance relationship, it might take a little bit longer for him to visit you, but not more than three months.

We believe you should then date a man for several months before sleeping with him, even if he writes like Hemingway and you think you are falling in love. Why? Because you don’t want to sleep with a man until you are pretty sure it is meaningful. Physical intimacy should happen slowly over a period of six to eight dates, not impulsively on the first or second date, no matter how you feel or how long you’ve been reading his e-mails and think you “know” him.

No one knows this better than Jill, 38, a makeup artist from Michigan. Andy, 44, an insurance agent from Florida, answered her ad and thus began a fast and furious e-mail and Instant Message courtship that went on for two months before they met. He Instant Messaged her one night and the conversation went like this:

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